Ispokening Inglis

In my job, I always meet different people everytime I report to work. There's not a lot of Filipino nurses in this area, so my origin is a curiosity to some patients. So here's how our conversation usually goes-
He/She: "Where are you from?" (Now, some are polite, thinking that I'm going to be offended so they would say- " I hope you don't mind me asking where your'e from?"
Me: Proudly, I say- "I'm from the Philippines!!" I always say it like the way the badings say it in a beauty contest back home sans the open arms gesture. Harharhar...
Now, if "He" was in the service years and years ago and he was deployed to the Philippines, chances are he would tell me his stories / experiences, so politely I listen to their story keeping my fingers crossed that I wouldn't be hearing the same story next time I go check on them. Actually, two patients did, that I dreaded going to their room. Hehehe... In other case, if "He/She" has/had a Filipino neighbor/acquaintance they would ask if I know so and so, which of course I don't! They think that because the Philippines is a small country everybody knew each other! They have no idea that it is overpopulated! So, anway, here's the continuation of my "interview"-
He/She: " Did you go to school here?"
Me: "No. I went to school back home." Now, sometimes this is often met with a look of surprise- you know, the eyes getting big, you get the picture?
He/She: "So how long have you been here?"
Me: " Four years." (Now that answer depends on what time of year I'm asked).
He/She: " Really?! Wow! You speak good English!!
Me- Mouth: "Thank you." Me- Brain: "Hay naku yan ang akala mo!"
Well, when I moved to this country I had to re-learn English the American way. Back home, they teach English the formal way, in other words, the Pinoy way. For example I was taught that, when someone says "Thank you", the normal response is " You're welcome!", but here the answer varies from "no problem!" to "you bet(cha)!" English is spoken colloquially. Also in Pinoy pronounciation, we put the stress on the some syllables that to them, it's pronounced slower or faster. Take for instance the word hippopotamus, Pinoys would say hee-poo-poo-ta-mus!! Now, the right way of saying it is hePOWPOW-tahmus. So, class repeat after me, hePOWPOW-tahmus. hekhekhek!!
Now if in the Pinas, if someone said, " She is such a peach!", the smart alecks are either going to say "Di naman sya mukhang prutas ah!" or " Ay, ganun? Mukha syang peach?!" LOL!
I remember when I was new in my job,I pronounced Amox-CEECEELLIN (amoxicillin) and the nurse listening gave me a quizzical look so I had to re-learn to pronounce it to Amox- CY-C-LLIN. Then in another instance, while I was giving report over the phone, I said the patient is allergic to Codeine pronouncing it as codayne and the nurse just keeps saying "what?" , so I keep repeating the word and finally she asked me to spell it and finally she said, "Oh, Codeine (pronouncing it as coH-din). Well!! Hay naku! Arte, arte!! But when it comes for them to pronounce trueblue Filipino surnames, it's a tongue twister to them and they either say, "whatever" or spell it. hehehe..
I always wonder why they referred to peeing as #1 and poop as #2. Is it because when you pee it goes straight down like a 1? And when you poop, it sometimes curls ergo, like a #2? Ewww..
I've never had a major boo boo but a couple former Pinay coworkers had some funny stories. Here's Pinay RN1 story-
She had an octogenarian patient and lolo keeps saying "I have to go", and everytime lolo says that, she says "no, you need to stay in bed", thinking that lolo is confused. But lolo is persistent, so finally she asked "go where?", and so lolo finally answered "I have to go pee!!" hehehe, wawang matanda, akala confused, gusto lang pala umihi!
Now, Pinay RN2 story is hilarious.
Patient: " I want Dr. Pepper."
PRN2: "Okay", then proceeds to the nurse's station. She looks at the directory for Dr. Pepper. Hmmm, can't find Dr. Pepper. Calls the paging system, not found. Sino ba tong Dr. Pepper na to at pinapahirapan sya!!Esep. esep sya. Hmmm, who's the attending? Ah, neurosurgery. Now, take note that on top of this , she also has other patients to attend to and she's stuck searching for this Dr. So, finally she decides to go to the patient's room.
PRN2: "I can't find Dr. Pepper, is it okay if I page Neurosurgery on call instead?"
Patient: " Ok, whatever! Give me a Coke!" hekhekhek!! Dr. Pepper is a soda pala and not a real Doctor!!
Way back in Pinas, I was always correcting how others say things and now, I think its karma. My hubby likes to make fun of my sentence construction and how I pronounce things. Like most Pinoys, I don't emphasize my "th" and pronounce it more as a "d", di ba we say mader instead of moTHer?! When we were newly married he liked to make fun of my constant use of "d" and so he would say, "What? Your mother, father and brother have udders? Are you related to a cow? So, finally I got pissed off and retrained myself to say th instead of d. To the point that I overdid it sometimes that I get confused how to say tree from three!LOL!! He likes to tease me, saying that the way I say things are so cute me but it makes me self- conscious and gets on my nerves especially if we're not on the same wavelength. And he wonders why I laugh and giggle when talking on the phone in my dialect!! Hah!! Go figure!